"The gorgeous children of Year 2 went to The Fitzwilliam Museum," explained Mrs Richards, with that patient but slightly pained expression she rightly adopts when explaining anything more than the simplest and most straightforward of concepts to your beleaguered newsdesk author. "Now - there were two objectives..."
"Two?" I queried. "I'm not sure I can remember that many."
"Two," she confirmed, with an almost imperceptible twitch of her left eye. "Are you listening?"
"OK - go on then," I agreed, summoning to the fore the one remaining, little piece of bravery I had saved to spend in Year 6 Golden Time this week.
"Yes - I think I've got that," I stammered, with small beads of nervous perspiration beginning to collect in the creases of my furrowed brow. "What's the other thing?"
"Well - this week is We Are Ridgefield's Literacy Festival right? So the children are going to write some poetry in reponse to the art works that have inspired them the most. How about that for combining multiple objectives in a fiendish cross-curricular pincer movement." (With this, Mrs Richards threw back her head and laughed long and loud, her shimmering hair whirling about her head in a way rarely seen since that seres of iconic 1980's shampoo adverts.)
I raised my head from the desk. "Ekphrastic?" I ventured, bleakly.
"Don't use that sort of language around me!" she retorted, with a wag of her perfectly toned right index finger. "Now just get on with the write-up before I have to repeat myself. And don't forget - it's the Discover Arts Award..."